Eyes Won’t Close…

It’s kinda interesting, during the day when Crystal and I watch TV (or a movie) I can’t keep my eyes open, but at night when it’s time for bed… I can’t keep my eyes close…. It’s also interesting that I use that line because that’s the first line or two I have in something new I’m working on… I just started no more than 10min before I posted this so I have no idea when it’ll be online, as per usual it’ll be in my “prose” format of poetry..

I’ll keep ya posted when I have something new.


Talk To Someone…

Ever since hearing about the passing of Robin Williams and knowing that both myself and Crystal get depressed from time to time, when she was cooking up dinner the other evening I walked up to her and said to her “I want you to make me a promise that if you ever feel depressed you’ll talk to me”… Talking is important, at least let someone know how you feel, maybe they can help out or point you towards a good direction.
I know my days of being online and doing a ton of social networking (back when I was more social) I talked to a few people, I had a few people who claim that I feel all “high and mighty” and that I look down on people… That’s not the case, but I wanted to do up a post to send out the word and possibly encourage people to talk to friends or family when your depressed…


Hopefully Heaven Will Be Laughing…

Just yesterday Crystal and I came back to where we live after doing some running around and I went upstairs to do a few things while she came down and checked her email, I remember her calling up to me and asking me to come down, and that’s when she showed me the news about Robin Williams. I still can’t believe it, he always seems so happy and cheerful when  you see him in movies but my father once told me a line that has kinda stuck with me

“You never know what goes on behind closed doors”

Now I’m not trying to say Robin was a bad man or anything like that, but as everyone seen he was a funny man. It’s said that he was battling with depression leading up to what he did. But what I mean by my comment: “You never know what goes on behind closed doors” … Many people are one way when they’re around friends and family but when they’re alone.. There completely different which can be for many reasons. A few of which I can understand.
I recently read something about the man that shocked me, it was said that he had trouble speaking to people when he’s one on one with them, but if you put him in a room with two or more people he came to life. This was facinating to me, as I’m the complete opposite. I have trouble talking to groups of people but I’m more comfortable with one on one conversations. Which is why you’ll never see me at any poetry readings or anything like that as that’s not how I roll.

You will truly be missed that’s for sure, and as I said in the title “I Hope Heaven Will Be Laughing” because down here… we we’re not.

Having A Rough Time…

So over the last two weeks things haven’t exactly been great for me, which has had me second guessing a few things in life..

So just over two weeks ago a friend of mine pointed out what looked like a potential “nest” so I kept an eye on things and realized that there seems to be some frequent activity going in and out of that hole he pointed out… After taking a photo and catching what was coming in and out we realized that it was yellow jackets… In a 60 second time gap at any given time you would have 4-7 of those bastards coming or going from that hole… So needless to say it needed to be taken care of.
After looking into it we decided to let the professionals handle it so we called someone in, it cost $140 to get a professional to “dust” them but I would rather have them dead than have them “forced out” to rebuild else where…

On top of that we had a few other insects and things in the house that we didn’t want to deal with that we seemed to have seen more frequently… Which caused me to spraying the basement with some bug killer, and I sprayed it rather well… We spent almost an entire week out of the basement sleeping else where in the house.

Oh and I forgot to mention … one more thing for that list… One evening I decided to cook me up some french fries and the oven started to act fucking crazy and gave me this error message and started to beep like crazy, didn’t know if it was going to explode or what.. But needless to say for the next two days I was shaking rather well and that made it so for the next three days were spent out of the house at Crystal’s parents place. Until the exterminator came then we spent the night before back at home so we could meet up with the exterminator and show the problem area…

Right now I don’t even know if we have a oven that we’re going back to, which isn’t exactly a thought that I want to think about.

Well it’s late, I should head my ass off to bed.


Back At It Again…

So I’m back at it again, meaning I’m writing poetry again… Currently this selection of poetry DOES NOT have a title, as this one is focused around job hunting and some of the crap I’ve seen / endured while trying to land myself that elusive job. I only got a few pages done this project has been something I’ve been working on and off for quite sometime. As I did start this earlier this year, however due to constantly jumping to something else it just kinda sat on the shelf and more or less collected dust. So I’m back working on things again.

I’m still trying to decide what’s best for me as I currently have two blogs on the go… kinda seeing what gathers more traffic.


Unsure Of What To Do…

So as of late I’ve been unsure of what to do… I’ve been thinking bout creating my own website again but I have recently noticed that much of the software that I have used in the past which is still around has now gone to paid versions and no longer have freeware.
I’ve also been trying out another blogging platform as well, not sure what I think of it either.

I’m unsure of what I think about wordpress as I continue to blog, at first things were cool as I found that the site was really helping me out, dropping keywords for me to choose and all that fun shit to help me get things noticed… However that’s not the case unless the latest update to version 4.0 brings it back but it does seem like I’m kinda on my own here.

I try not to constantly talk about poetry because there is more to me than that one thing, so I tend to look at what’s going on in my life.

I know things here have been rather easy to setup, and for the most part I’ve found a way to do everything that I wanted to do… Well with the exception of a few things but something tells me the few things would either mean I have to pay for them or go self-hosted which at this point in time I can’t afford either.

Well I figured I would bring a quick little update and go back to what I was doing.


Late Night Post…

So here I sit at 455am (est) I crawled into bed about two hours ago and as I crawled in I started to watch the movie Grandma’s Boy… I tend to put something on when I crawl into bed as it usually lets me relax at night and fall asleep… Well tonight seems to be different as it didn’t relax me enough to fall asleep as for the most part while watching the movie I listened to my stomach growl… so as I type this I’m eating a bagel with jam… Not to get into any great detail but it’s home made jam that Crystal’s Mom made…

Well I’m done with my late night snack and it’s time for me to head to bed but I should have known that this was going to work against me as on Sunday I didn’t drag my fat ass out of bed until 330pm (est) which is unusual.

Alright so when I head back I’m going to toss on some Big Bang Theroy… starting with season one… I tend to start with the older series when I put on a series at bedtime…

Oh and for those who want to ask the question, the answer is …. I have trouble falling asleep if I don’t have some sort of background noise… Otherwise my tends to wonder and when my mind wonders it tends to keep me up all night…

Alright so off to bed I go….


Vacation Poetry

So i’ve been saying this since being on vacation but vacation has been done for quite sometime and I want to get things posted… So I finally have Vacation Poetry online, it’s a short collection of poetry I wrote while on vacation.

It’s immediately up on Smashwords and for anyone else who reads who doesn’t read things on smashwords your going to have to wait as per usual to get it, it should only be up to a week but it depends when things get approved.. Things are quicker than they use to be for getting approved so don’t worry it’ll get out to you soon enough.

The vacation sucked for a few reasons and you can read it by clicking the cover to the left.


A Look Back….

So I decided to take a look back at all the stuff I’ve released in the past, no matter what name I used:
Blood Lotuz
Trillium Trio
Mr. Love Zone
Shane Diamond
Project Druyd
KJ Abyzz
Kenny Roberts

I sat and read almost everything that I wrote through the entire time of writing… Looking back I always had that idea of wanting my poetry to sound like someone… That someone was whichever artist or artists I was most into during the time of that release, at first things started out to be violent and hateful because truthfully that’s the type of music that I was into and I knew who I listened to had fans and I was hoping that I would gain some attention of some of them to look at my stuff… I did gain a little bit of attention but not a whole lot.
So as time continued on I basically stuck on that darker path through most of my writing, however then things just clicked… I got to the point of not wanting to sound like anyone else as I had a voice I had my own ideas and I wanted to post my own stuff, my own thoughts, my own ideas… I wanted to be me when I wrote, to some who may look at some of my releases as stupid and talentless to me they weren’t and never will be. At the time of writing each release something was going on in my mind or in my life and I wanted to write about it and get it out there as no matter what your going through there are other people who are also going through the exact same thing you are.

So I continued to write what I was going through, at first I was nervous that nobody would give a shit about what I wrote but more and more I wrote the more I realized that I just didn’t care how much or how little people read what I did. I no longer tried to sound like anyone, if something happened to me and I wanted to write about it I would and it would get released… I have released more than most (if not all) poets in short periods of time…

Most people bitch saying my releases are short, the last time I checked poetry wasn’t measured out in a set length… Also the last time I checked my donations are at a grand total of $0 … So if you want to bitch about my poetry being short and if you want me to listen then try donating $10 … I’ll listen to you saying my poetry is short, but at this point in time no money is coming in, not that money coming in will change the length of my poetry but it would allow me to do other things like buy a .com for myself and to hopefully help things get more notice.

At times I have had the thought of writing something dark, but truthfully I’m not that guy anymore… The last few releases from Kenny Roberts I had trouble writing it was a pain in the ass to write.

I have finally gotten my vacation poetry off of the laptop and put onto the computer and I have finished things, all I have to do right now is create a cover for it and post it up… I don’t know if that’s going to be happening tonight or not… I haven’t fully decided…

Well I hope everyone enjoyed the look back, perhaps you learned something… Perhaps you didn’t…


What a day/night…

Been sleeping like shit lately, all day today I’ve been fighting to stay awake so I can get into bed at a decent time… Well I got into bed at a decent time, had trouble walking to my bedroom as my feet are cold as ice and my wrists are sore, think I may have sprained them…

So anyways I crawled into bed and tossed on a movie, watched 90% of the movie and i’m still awake my feet are still ice, I have a pair of socks on and I can feel the coldness through the socks… It’s now 330am and I’m heading back to bed but sadly I’m still feeling rather awake, I got a rather full day tomorrow of things that I would like to get done and I gotta have dinner wtih Crystal’s parents as we do every week or two which is fine by me as it gets me away from things.

With my feet being cold and it being that late at night (or early in the morning) depending on how you want to look at it I don’t know how tomorrow is going to work.

I’m not feeling that tired at all, I have one or two ideas for new releases, I haven’t worked on anything right now as I should be in bed… I also know I got to release my vacation release sooner than later so I can get that out there too.

I know the last few posts I’ve done haven’t really had any keywords and that’s what tends to drive people to this site/blog but truthfully I try not to incorperate keywords into everything as I want to see at times if people will stumble upon things or not.

I know promotion is everything to people and getting there stuff out and plugging it with the keywords in order to get more exposure, I work differently… I know my stuff is going to many sites and getting exposure on each site when things get listed as a “new release”… However at times I just look at it and say “keywords are over rated” I know many say “how do you expect to get a target audience” well it’s tough to get one when my posts aren’t always about the same thing and what may inspire one person may not inspire the next.